What's up with people?
Sure I expect a certain level of funk. But this crossed the line.
I was about ten minutes away from finishing up my cardio. I usually go over to the ab machine next. There are only 2 of the one I like to use so I tend to start scoping them out early. I hate to have to wait. So this Nimrod gets on and does 2-3 sit-ups and then stops. In my mind I start my usual chant ‘hurryup-hurryup-hurryup’ cause, I am almost ready to move over there. In the meantime the woman who was on the other machine had left and a new one got on. She did like 3 crunches, scrunched her face, sat up, and began sniffing the machine. Like the handles and headrest. She looked disgusted and walked away. Over at Nimrod’s side, well he was in a trance, gazing at the women on the ellipticals and picking something on his neck. Something the size of a golf ball! (no joke)
As I was looking he winced, and I knew that he got it. Whatever it was, I could see that it was oozing and bleeding pretty good, and then he wiped it down the front of his shirt! I’m sure I said ‘ew’ out loud. This was pretty disgusting even for me. He just kept squeezing and wiping his neck goo on his shirt.
So now I was debating which of the 2 machines were less violated. There was the one that clearly stunk, or the one with Nimrod’s dirty handles from his neck-picking (which at this point he was really squeezing and it was still bleeding...)
I passed on both machines!!!
Happy Man
There's this new guy who walks around with a big freaking smile on his face and talks out loud to himself. In between sets on whatever machine he's on, he'll clap his hands over his head and say to himself, "come on man you can do it, yeah, yeah!" Then he'll sit down and do about 6 reps with hardly any weight, while making noises like he’s about to give birth. Then he actually jumped up and down and pumped his fist in the air, and he walked over to the mirror and loudly congratulating himself and gave his reflection a huge high five, and a reassuring vocal, "All right dude!"
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10 comments:
You should be more like the happy man and openly congratulate yourself for the awesome job you are doing. I am especially proud (and amazed) that you have quit Coke. Maybe only temporarily. I hope so as I have about $30.00 worth of Coke in the storage room that I bought on sale (before I knew you were not drinking it).
Just please make sure you don't come home with some creepy disease. You need to carry Purell and Lysol spray.
P.S. I hate the Word Verification that you and Lisa have. What good does it do? It makes my eyes hurt.
Are you going to the Gold's Gym for retards?? You HAVE to make a secret videotape of the "you can do it" guy. That is so funny! I need to see that.
Oh my gosh the zit picker. So gross. I want to vomit every time I see that picture.
yeah. the picture is discusting. shudders, but the "go man" man is SOOO funny. it just got better and better! yeah mike, i agree with valerie, you should do that.
Mr Magoo, the word verification prevents porn spam comments when you use certain innocent words or words that help with the story but could have a porn tone, like, weiner. I got a porn spam comment after i told the story about tom and helping me with the front curtains. So i use the word verification because I don't need the helpful comments telling me where to get special porn.
Mike I haven't slept since reading your post. i keep imagining zit goo and I'm sick. i also keep thinking I smell bum crack on everything. Maddie your comment made me laugh, Mandie and paul jr. Yesterday when we were at cheer tryouts with Hillary, Cayden starting calling his Ninja turtles stupid retards. everyone stared at me because he can only learn such things from his mom. I guess he does pay attention to my road rage comments. i thought I toned down my road rage, but i guess not. he also said, "how are you doing little fart face?" to hillary. I listened to conference but apparently not in enough time. I used to think fart face was a term of endearment, but I won't anymore. i'll have to ask amy for better ones like butter head.
Oops, that was me, not Maddie. And I didn't hear that conference talk, so I think it's alright for me to keep saying retard.
That picture is soooo sick. What in the hell is it? I really hope it's not a zit. barf. Maybe it's time for a new gym - that sounds a little WT for you, Mike. The happy guy is crazy. Do you think he would notice if you video taped him for the blog?
I think the picture is a zit. I'm not sure, I just googled zit, and this showed up. I have only seen the happy high-five guy once. I'm not sure how to go about trying to video him without looking too weird myself. As for the WT element, I kind of like it. It makes me feel sort-of superior.
I do have some Purell hand sanitizer in my car, and I will be getting more, a lot more!!!
Wow, I've missed out on this post. I'm glad you've found some good entertainment at the gym.
Wow....l can only imagine how creepy the guy is that talks to himself...can you imagine him in regular daily life. Giving everyone high fives and cheering at them outloud and in public.
As for the guy picking the abscess on his neck, their technical medical term - the reason you have a medical term for them is because you're not suppose to freakin pick them yourself!!! Omg, that's gross! I have kids in THE HOSPITAL for abscesses all the time and they treat them with antibiotics and drain them in a more clinical manner....and they don't let the kids with draining abscesses out in the public play areas -- which should tell you a little something about their disgustingness...
EWW...
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