Everyone loves see-food

For starters I was bringing lunch to a customer and his employees in Denver. I ask him to place the order (for eight sandwiches) and let me know where and when to pick them up. The place was called The Chop House Brewery. If you've never been there be sure to take extra cash. The total for eight sandwiches (no chips, no slaw, no potato salad, no kidding) (just club style sandwiches) was 101.87 before tip! Holy crap! I think I'm being taken advantage of? Anyways, I take the diamond encrusted sandwiches to my customer and his crew of hungry little advantage-takers. Beverly, the book-keeper is there. She has a "Pat" quality, She is mid to late 40s, very over weight (she's a cross between "Pat & "Uncle Tina"). She has a platinum blonde over-permed afro with dark roots. She is wearing a skin tight black T-shirt that is tucked into jeans that look like they are molesting her, they are so tight. Oh, and she is not shy. She grabbed her lobster sandwich and waddled off to make her next impression for me. I called it "yummy sounds". Beverly was moaning and making every possible mouth noise while devouring her lunch. "CHOMP CHOMP smack, Mmmmmm, This CHOMP is CHOMP divine, CHOMP CHOMP smack". All the noise, all the talking, and never once did anything fall out. She stuffed more in and talked and moaned, and CHOMPED and so on, and never a crumb did fall. It was like watching a train wreck. This was see-food at it's finest! I found myself both hypnotized and sick to my stomach at the same time. Two bites to each segment of her lunch, she wipes her mouth on her sleeve and DONE! Somewhere in Colorado there is a lucky man with a whole lota woman tonight! ((((BARF) )))