SAVING RYAN'S PRIVATES

I didn’t want Ryan to be the only one being ignored for posting this mug shot, I mean lovely photo. Knowing that Ryan has been away from home serving a mission, he probably forgot some of the house rules. I will help you Ryan by briefly covering a few of the basics

1. NEVER, and I mean never under any circumstance, should a blood or especially a “non-blood” embarrass the Mother!!!
2. NO flash photography when the matriarch is not at her absolute best (she will let us know when she is at her best).
3. Absolutely NO posting on the internet anything that has not received the Mothers stamp of approval.
4. Never draw any attention to the Mother without prior written permission from the Mother, if the Mother is not available to obtain written permission, do not seek permission from the Father, he has NO authority in this matter.

In the event that you have broken any of the previous rules, or any of the unspoken rules do one of the following:

1. CRY like a little girl, this gives the impression that you have remorse for the situation. It will not change the fact that you are a complete “goat face”, but who dosen’t need a good cry.
2. PLAY DUMB & DO NOT MAKE EYE CONTACT, she can see your soul, she knows your thoughts, maintain your innocence.
3. Blame a “non-blood”. This always works as she has no real connection with outsiders.
4. GET EVERYONE YOU KNOW TO DO THE SAME BAD THING THAT YOU DID. There is strength in numbers. And, when she is pretending that you do not exhist you will not be alone. (works very well around Holidays).